Cutest. Baby. Ever.

Letter to Mom

Mom,

We took Graham to Walt Disney World this past weekend for his birthday. He loved, loved, loved the characters. He was a little tentative at first, but once Eeyore stopped by our table, he was all about pumping his legs, grabbing character body parts, and giggling. It was super cute. The guy who follows the characters around (I'm not sure what his job is officially called -- character escort?) told us that Graham was the happiest baby he saw all day. :) That is me bursting with pride (with a dose of crazy on the side).

We told them it was Graham's birthday, so he got a birthday card signed by the characters he met. He also got his first cupcake. We let him have it even though he wasn't one yet. So far it hasn't bit us in the butt -- he is still eating his veggies ;).

Here he is being presented with the cake. He tried to grab the candle.

        

"Yum sugar. Yum."

"Mommy the cake fell on the floor! And I only got to eat half of it!"

We started transitioning Graham to whole milk. He could care less. I could give him formula, whole milk or a mix, and he'll gulp it down (in bottle form, of course). Sherrie and I think he has a bottomless pit for a stomach. I'm going to continue mixing until I run out of formula, just because we still have some formula.

His sixth tooth broke through on Monday, April 26th. This last one wasn't too painful, his fifth was a pain. I'm not looking forward to molars.

Graham started clapping! I'm pretty sure he was a little late on this milestone, but it is very cute. He also loves to stack things. And put blocks places. He likes to play by taking all of his blocks and putting them in a container. He'll even hand blocks to me so I can put them in the container with him. The past few days he has been saying ba ba ba constantly. He seems to latch onto one babbling noise and stick with that for week then he'll switch it up.

John booked Ryan and Kaci's hotel for their honeymoon on Monday night. We used a bunch of hotel points we had, I'm really happy to be able to do this for them. I hope that the trip is really great. (As a side -- I've had people question my use of credit cards that require an annual fee. The annual fee on the starwood card of around $50 is resulting in around a $1000 value just for spending money I would have spent anyways. Obviously, I always, always pay my balance off every month -- not doing that changes everything.)

Dad sent me a real text message! He sent me a picture, and he typed a message. It wasn't just a forward. It is crazy.

Love and miss you,
Kassie

Happiness Project

The extra special touch at Walt Disney World.

Graham's First First Birthday Present

A much needed toy chest from Grandma and Grandpa Mattson!

Already packed full of toys. 

What are we going to do with the rest of his birthday presents?

Guns

I don't get them.

I sort of understand if you hunt. You need a gun to hunt.

I don't understand handguns at all. Why would you want one? In what situation is owning a handgun going to help me? I'm pretty sure if my house has an intruder, and I own a handgun, the situation is going to get worse. I'm pretty sure pulling out a gun increases the probability that someone dies.

Maybe I understand going to the firing range and firing a gun, just to release stress. Maybe you could even own the gun and store it there. Maybe I understand that.

I do not understand, at all, why someone brings the gun into their house. Children (are smart and will find the gun and the ammunition and) will play with the gun and might accidentally shoot their friend.

In no way, shape or form, do I think guns are cool.

Weekend At Walt Disney World

Graham is not scared of characters. 

That is for sure.

Teeth and Other News

I thought I better post twice today. One overwhelmingly sad, and another just normal (upbeat) Graham update.

Graham got his first front tooth on Thursday (April 22nd). Yay!! We were struggling with this tooth. He wasn't sleeping great, he wasn't napping great, and he was generally not as happy as normal. Now that the tooth has popped out, there is a noticeable improvement. Now he is up to 5 teeth. The 6th looks like it is coming soon.

It was a huge contrast to his first two teeth, which suddenly appeared with no symptoms.

Last night I gave Graham his first taste of whole milk. He seemed mostly indifferent, I did 50% formula, 50% milk. We'll probably stick with the 50/50 for a few days (there is no point in wasting the formula we have at the house).

Now we need to start thinking about eliminating bottles. He currently gets one at breakfast, afternoon snack and bedtime. Afternoon snack will be the first to go, and I think we are going to try to cut back to a smaller bottle before we outright eliminate it. This part stressing me out... eliminating bottles. I don't know why (actually I know why-- I am a crazy mom).

Mom - A Depressing Post

Graham's birthday is fast approaching.

It is bittersweet. A year ago, my mom was in the hospital, ventilated, with a terrible prognosis. A year ago, my life, my family's life, my dad's life, my mom's life were filled with stress. A year ago, everything changed.

I came home the first weekend she was in the hospital. I surprised my mom. She didn't know I was coming, and we told her a white lie that I was planning on surprising her that weekend before she was admitted so she didn't think I thought she was dying and that is why I came. My family made it seem like I didn't need to come, that mom was okay. That Sunday, the doctor gave us the choice to ventilate her or for her to be medicated to make her passing less painful. Leaving after that weekend was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I can't imagine if I didn't visit... I can't imagine how desperate I would have felt had all of this been going on, and I was stuck in Florida, waiting for the phone to ring.

I visited again the following weekend - Saturday to Wednesday. My mom didn't remember that I was there the prior weekend. Her doctor was not optimistic. He added so many levels of stress because he made it seem like there was no way she could ever come home. If she (and she was likely going to be) had to be on a vent, she had to be in a vent care facility.

I came back to Florida on Wednesday, got permission from my doctor to travel up to my due date, and booked two more flights home. I was going to stay in Florida that weekend (May 1st) and then fly home the following two. My water broke on May 2nd. My little man arrived May 3rd. I wasn't able to travel home again until early June (right before his actual due date of June 9th).

I feel bad for being absent for all of this. I would have loved to be there to help out, to carry my load.

It was so hard to be away though. When you are away, you don't know all of the details that you want to know but no one thinks to tell you. You don't even know what questions to ask.

You get a text from an aunt telling you something that you didn't know, and you react positively. Only to find out that it was old news that no one thought to tell you.

You find out that your grandmother has been life-flighted to the hospital because she had a heart attack, but someone tells you that she is going to be fine. Next thing you know everyone is saying their good-byes, but because you are a few thousand miles away you have no idea how it got from fine to good-bye.

Transition to Whole Milk

We are going to begin our transition to whole milk tonight!

(1.5 weeks early -- okay'ed by Graham's doctor and two random people I discussed it with at work that have no medical background).

Woo hoo to saving $20 per week... what will I do with the extra money?

Swimming

This past weekend we broke out the blow up swimming pool. Graham liked splashing. 

Letter to Mom

Part of the series - Letter to Mom.


Mom,

Sunday we went to a birthday party for one of Graham's little friends (Gregory). There was one couple there we didn't know -- who also have a little Graham. Even more randomly their Graham was at the same NICU at the same time as our Graham! I met the other Graham from the NICU. The mom looked pretty familiar, and then I knew why. What a crazy small world.

(I know you would ask me crazy questions about these people, but I don't know very much about them, and I don't know how Graham's mommy would feel about me posting things about their life on the internet.)


This has been a tough week. I miss you a lot. Kelsey sent me a package with my easter candy in it, and I cried and cried. You are the person who sends me random packages. I'm never going to get one again. That sucks. I've cried more this week than I have for a while. I think work being stressful is just making me more emotional. I wonder when this gets easier. Does it ever? 


Speaking of Kelsey, we exchanged quite a few text messages this week. I felt like it lifted some of the awkward-ness going on between us. We'll see. 


I talked to Dad on Sunday night. He seemed like he is doing well. He said that one of his friends said that he should be telling us that he loves us once in a while. I told him I know that he loves me. :) He said that Rick said he should say it to us girls. I told him that you always said it at the end of every phone conversation. I know you were scared that your last words to us would be something other than I love you. He also said that he went to your grave over the weekend and planted some grass. 


I updated Graham's first year album on Sunday too, and ordered it for his birthday party. There is a picture in it from the time in October we were home and you and Dad babysat Graham (the picture is actually of Graham and I in the snow). I'm so glad you had that opportunity. I know that if you were still here and healthy, you would be babysitting Graham every chance you got. Believe me, John and I would be taking advantage of that and booking a baby-less vacation right now. I loved your positive attitude about those kind of things -- you were sincerely excited about the chance to spend quality time alone with him, and excited about me giving me the chance to go baby free for an evening. 


Love and miss you,
Kassie

Happiness Project

Happiness is planning my next vacation.

New Perspective

Pre-Graham - I always thought to myself that working mom's got a great deal. They "have" to leave at a certain time. They "can't" work on the weekends.

Post-Graham - I am seriously exhausted. Last week I worked like 45 hours or so (insert a sarcastic gasp for anyone who has to work full-time and has kids). My patience with Graham was incredibly thin. I feel guilty for giving John so much Graham duty over the weekend. I feel guilty because I didn't read enough books to G. I feel guilty because I left him at Sherries for too long each day.

Post-Graham I'm thinking that working moms get a pretty crappy deal. They have to get their bids submitted by the first Monday in June just like the working non-moms, but they can't just stay at work until 7 every night because they have to pick their babies up by 5 because their sitter closes. They have to deal with the guilt of having their baby spend from 7am to 5pm* at their sitters because they are too busy at work, but they are too tired to sign into work after their baby goes to bed at 7pm to get anymore work done.

They (well I can't) ask their husband pick up the baby at the sitter because he has billable hour requirement, and, well, they would like him to get a bonus at year-end. Plus they can't imagine not spending anytime with their baby just because bids are due.

*For full disclosure, I actually haven't left Graham at daycare for that long. I've been going to into work at 6:30am and working until around 3:30pm so I can pick him up by 4. That way I'm getting an extra 1.5 at work while only giving up an hour of Graham time. John drops Graham off in the morning at 7.

Graham vs. Bookcase

I think the bookcase won.

Graham Videos

Graham thinking. You can tell he is thinking because he is sticking his tongue out.

Graham standing and then sitting falling (there is also potentially some thinking going on -- his tongue is out).

Random Big Cry

Kelsey sent me a package with my easter candy.

Seems innocent enough, right?

As soon as I opened it, I was bawling. A full out huge cry. Graham laughed at me. Boy do I miss my Mom. I would kill for another one of her crazy packages.

Thoughts on Happiness

I've been giving happiness a lot of thought lately.

I've decided that I should be happy while I'm working. I have the choice -- I don't have to work (although not working would involve a serious lifestyle change and no more expensive jeans, and have I mentioned I like expensive jeans?)... so while I am working, I should be positive about work.

I try really hard to take a positive outlook on it all. I am so lucky to be in an in demand profession, command a large salary, and get to work part-time. I am very lucky to have the best childcare provider in the planet, and a husband who is willing to put in his 50%.

I try so hard to cherish each moment and not to let life pass me by, but sometimes I fail miserably. I should stop being annoyed about having to get Graham off of the fireplace every 10 minutes, and concentrate on how it is funny that he is attracted to the only thing that is off limits in this room. I should focus on how cute the way he sits down from standing is (he just lets his legs fall out from under him and plops his bum on the floor).

Letter to Mom

Part of the series - "Letter to Mom".


Mom,


Graham was sick for his first friend's 1 year birthday party. I had to go without him. Clearly Graham didn't care, but I was totally bummed he wasn't able to go. He is feeling basically 100% now (or at least appears to feel 100%). 


Graham is becoming an expert at pulling himself up to a standing position. He still doesn't really know how to get down, but I'm sure he'll figure it out soon enough. 


I sent out invitations this week for Graham's birthday party. You would have really loved it -- it has four pictures of him, all from different times of his first year.  Here is what it looks like:

This week I was reminded of how I treated you (as a teenager) once when I was in the hospital. I was in intensive care recovering from my surgery, and I told you to stop coming to see me, because the smell of smoke was giving me a headache. In retrospect, that had to of crushed you. I can't imagine one of my children treating me that way (although I'm sure it'll happen). I'm so sorry. I know it was hard for you to understand, but when you walking in from a cigarette break into the sterile hospital room, the smell was overpowering. I was so embarrassed that you smoked too. I wish you would have quit back then... how different life would be.


Love and miss you,
Kassie

Happiness Project

My best deal ever on diapers.

Two boxes of size 4 diapers for $17.98 each with $2.50 in coupons

Yes that is 13.94 cents a diaper.

30 Reasons I love John

I wrote this in April 2009 (while pregnant with Graham), and my mom loved it, as evidenced here. This was also the inspiration of the 30 Reasons We Love Our Mom list my siblings and I wrote for her wake/funeral. 

Here is the email I sent her:

30 reason I love John in no particular order:

(mom - this isn't a forward, I don't want you to send this to your friends)

1. He loves to travel

2. He is very patient with me (for the most part)

3. He is smart

4. He is tall

5. He'll wake up earlier than me on Sundays and make me breakfast

6. He is Graham's dad ;)

7. He understands how important my family is to me

8. He'll put my shoes on because it is hard for me with my big belly.

9. He has a lot of ambition, he wants to climb to the top

10. He is very self confident (this was the inital thing that attracted me to him.)

11. He can convince people of anything

12. He knows how to put together furniture items that come in boxes from target.

13. He is a good driver

14. He'll take the middle seat on an airplane so I don't have to sit there.

15. He works out

16. He cares about the way he looks

17. He doesn't snore

18. He is willing to get out of bed early to take people to the airport

19. He hates it if I try to take his pulse

20. He is well educated

21. He argues with me for the sake of arguing

22. He says "I love you Graham, but not as much as I love your mother"

23. He likes to go do things, he doesn't just want to watch TV all of the time.

24. He understands that the key to a happy life is a happy wife

25. He drinks scotch. 

26. He doesn't hog the blankets

27. He rocks at trivial pursiut

28. He is competitive

29. He loves college sports

30. He would rather go to the game than watch it on TV

Graham is one Sick Little Boy

Graham has roseola. He got a high fever on Friday afternoon, and it finally broke this morning. We went to the doctor on Friday afternoon, and she said to expect a rash to appear after the fever is over. He has been in okay spirits, but more irritable than normal. We just got back from Target, and he was a little fussy while we were there. He has also been waking up in the middle of the night crying. So it has been a rough couple of days, mostly because I like to sleep.

At the doctor's office, he was weighed, and he came in at 25 pounds 1 ounce. He is a big boy! That means we can buy children's motrin -- which blew me away, he gets the 2 year old's dose!!

While we were at target, we bought Graham a pair of sandals! His second pair of shoes! He hasn't really worn his first pair yet either, but I think we are going to start having him wear shoes. :) Now that he is pulling himself up on stuff and crawling around outside, he probably should have his feet covered.

Graham also got his fourth tooth on Saturday (so I'm not sure how much of the irritability is due to his illness or the teeth). He continued his hillbilly ways and got his final lateral incisor. One of his front teeth is visible through his gums, so maybe it'll be popping out soon.

I tried to give Graham yogurt on Saturday too. I bought plain adult organic yogurt because I don't like all of the junk they put in the kiddie versions. Graham wanted the junk. He puked up the adult version in projectile Graham fashion. We bought some kiddie yogurt today at Target, we'll see if he takes to that better. It just doesn't seem right that I am feeding him something that doesn't need to be refrigerated. I should be in the running for the "Mom of the Year Award" for giving Graham new food when he was already sick. :)

Graham Pictures

Graham hanging out at home.

Graham Crawling at the Park

Graham's 11 Month Update

Graham dropped his morning nap. He is now taking a longer afternoon nap. The end result is he is sleeping around the same amount of time, but just in one stretch. We struggled the first couple days, but since then we have been good. It was hard last weekend when traveling because he would just fall asleep when we were out and about, but at home it has been fine.

Graham is still sleeping at night like a champ. From around 7pm to around 6am.

Graham has 3 bottles a day. Breakfast, afternoon snack, and bedtime. We dropped the lunchtime bottle, and he didn't even notice. He is still eating a mix of table food and baby mush. His favorite foods include bread of any kind, pancakes, and goldfish. He'll still eat anything you put in front of him.

He is pulling himself up to stand all of the time now. He doesn't really know how to get down yet without falling.

Graham's favorite toys are stacking cups (he loves to try to put them inside of each-other), the big blocks we made out of his play-mat, and the hand-me-down house that Diana gave us (he is no longer afraid of the squirrel).

Motivation to Not Be Fat

I was reading some blog about healthcare reform, but I don't remember which one (so I can't source it), and it had quote that stuck with me: "Where are all the fat old people? You can't find them because they already died."

Another one that has stuck with me, which there was apparently a bunch of drama about when (I believe) Kate Moss said it is "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

There you have it, my two "don't get fat" mental slogans.

What are yours?

Letter to Mom

Part of the series - "Letter to Mom"

Mom,

Kaci is engaged! I know she already told you, but I need to too. I'm so so so excited for her. I think you would have liked Ryan too, had you had the opportunity to get to know him better. I know it makes Kaci happy knowing that you got to me him. I know if you were still alive, we would be talking about Ryan in-depth and whether we think Kaci is making the right decision. I think she is.

The best part of the wedding (outside of Kaci actually getting married) is that Graham is going to be the ring-bearer! It is going to be so cute. It is crazy how much pride I have for him already, when he doesn't even talk (it is basically based on how darn cute he is). I understand so much better now why you were always bragging us up so much. It drove me insane growing up, but now I get it.

Monday on my way home from work, I randomly started to cry. I definitely wanted to talk to you then. I had one of those days at work, and I just needed to hear from you that everything is okay, and you are proud of me. I know all of these things, but I would have loved to be able to pick up the phone. I've probably lived 1/3 of my life (maybe more, but I'm going with living until 90), it is so hard to believe for the next 2/3 I don't get to talk to you. I don't get to tell you how my day went.

On Thursday, I went to pick up Graham with Arian. Graham was starving, and Arian was holding him. He actually reached out for me. At 11 months, Graham finally reached out to me. He wasn't happy and he wanted me. It felt good (in a weird psycho mom way). Once his belly was full again, he was happy to be held by anyone.

Love and miss you,
Kassie

Happiness Project

A long weekend away.

Graham Swims

Weekend in Pictures

Playing at the park in Charleston. The weather was beautiful over the weekend, and we got to spend lots of time outside. 

Warming up after swimming at the hotel pool.

Kaci's Engaged!

Kaci is officially engaged!! My awkward conversations involving the possible summer wedding of my sister who isn't engaged are over :). Yay.

That means we'll be spending a week at home this summer, double yay!

And Graham will get a chance to wear his seersucker suit as a ring-bearer, triple yay!

CONGRATS KACI and RYAN!!!!

Graham pulled himself up to a standing position on Thursday, April 1st too, quadruple yay! :)